![]() ![]() When we think that people are evaluating us negatively, our sense of self takes a huge hit.” In a 2014 Psychology Today article written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne PhD, she references a 2012 study conducted by a John Jay College professor Joshua Clegg in which he determined that most people put a lot of pressure on themselves to “fit in.” That, according to Clegg, “leads us to engage in self-regulation, in which we are constantly on the lookout to see what other people think about us. It sounds like your life’s “greatest” hits are taking such a toll that you’re keeping new experiences at an arm’s length, for fear of making new embarrassing moments. Let’s first look at the concept of embarrassment And maybe I’ll help you, or maybe I’ll just give you that laugh you needed to get through the rest of the day. Don’t worry, it’s 100 percent anonymous, and there’s no question, big or small, that I’ll look down on. Peeing my pants again? There’s no telling on that one.īefore I advance any further into what is now officially HOT PROBS #3, I just want to put this here: If there’s something you’re grappling with, that you’d like to have me chime in on, you can ask me a question here. It’s hard to say “never” about something, but I can pretty safely say that I’ll never take food out of the mouths of needy people again. I didn’t mind people seeing that I’d peed myself in broad daylight, but I was very embarrassed of myself for eating food pantry bread, and being caught doing it by someone I very much respected. There’s the kind of embarrassment where you do something you’re worried about other people seeing as “dumb,” or “wrong,” and then there’s the kind where you are embarrassed of yourself. What you may be able to pull from these examples is that “embarrassment” can be experienced in levels. But the next morning, yeah, I didn’t feel too smart about that having happened to me. I even went up to people, pointing at my crotch, to show them the wet spot. Since everyone else was either barfing in the street, or dancing around with sticks on their faces, I wasn’t too mortified at the time. By the time early afternoon rolled around, my wife, my friends, and myself were all hammered beyond capacity and it took one hard laugh for me to fully piss the entirety of my pants. On Mardi Gras, it’s pretty customary to start drinking the moment you get up, and boy did I ever. A few years ago, on Mardi Gras (I live in New Orleans now) I just straight up peed my pants. I shut my locker door, retreating outside to walk laps, or whatever nonsense activity they were having us suffer through that day.ģ. The girl chuckled and, my face, as it’s been known to do, betrayed me by turning purple. Now, what I was thinking in my head was that sodomy had something to do with “out of the ordinary sex,” which I knew S&M fell under the umbrella of, but I obviously chose the wrong word here, and there was no turning back. “Do you know what that means?” She asked me, pointing at the new leather bondage bracelet poking out from the sleeve of my sweatshirt. ![]() ![]() One day, I was in the gym locker room, preparing to pull my gym pants on OVER the jeans I was wearing, because I absolutely refused to change for gym, when a much cooler, much more goth girl walked over. But I didn’t have my “look” together just yet. In my freshman year of high school, I was just getting into what would become a decades-long goth phase. They walked away, and I went back to my desk.Ģ. My mouth was still full, I muttered “nice to meet you” to the author, while putting out my thieving, ashamed, literally crumby hand to shake his. I felt my face turn purple, and quickly flung the chunk of bread in my hand behind me into the sink. Next to him was a writer working on a biography about K. Mouth completely full of bread and holding the yet to be devoured remaining chunk in my hand, I meet the gaze of Captain K Records himself, Calvin Johnson. So I tore off a huge chunk and started eating it. I knew full well that these were for a local food pantry, but all my brain could do at that moment was push the “eat that bread” button. One day, at the K Records building, I went downstairs to the little kitchen area to make myself coffee and saw multiple loaves of French bread up on the counter. I was also really bad at managing money so when I ended up spending every last dime I had on an orange futon for my apartment, I didn’t have anything left for stuff like, you know, food. Small labels don’t have much money, so I wasn’t paid much money. The time I left New York to move to Olympia and work as the in-house publicist for K Records. ![]()
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